Monday, May 30, 2005

Tis Magic!

In the final edition of Epiphanies: So-cal style, a post from The O.C.

Ezra and I are hanging out at his mom's when she brings out two gigantic boxes. Inside these boxes is the legendary Magic Bullet , mom explains, which Ezra's little sister has been coveting for many weeks. She finally broke down during her umpteenth viewing of the infomercial, and because she called in next 18 minutes(!!!!) got two.

Within five minutes Ezra's sister bursts in the door squealing with joy at the Magic Bullet's much anticipated arrival. She begins struggling with one of the 3 foot high boxes, finally pulling out the styrofoam innard. At this point, my curiosity is peaked -- what, oh what could this gadget be? Is it truly magic? Does it come with a gun to put its magic bullets in?

She opens up the styrofoam casing, revealing an assemblage of plastic cups and black bottoms.

Wait a minute-- this is no magic gun! There are no magic bullets!!! It's a food processor/blender in disguise! All for a hefty price tag of $140, mind you.

Ezra's sister immediately fondles the different parts, ooing and aahing. I grab the "Magic Bullet 10 Second Recipes" booklet. Inside I found some fascinating information about the unbelievable technology behind the Magic Bullet. For instance, did you know that the Magic Bullet has a pulse function? This feature is unique to the gadet's magical blending power. Yes, to engage the pulse function, you simply push down on the button for a second. The booklet admits this technique is a bit tricky, but once you master it, you will not believe how useful it is (after all, can't have all our food blended to mush). I thought better of telling his sister that my blender had an actual pulse button.

Next, she proceeds to raid the kitchen for any food that might taste good blended together. The first experiment? A banana and a cream popsicle. She engages the Magic Bullet -- it creates a pinkish gray gummy concoction, which she eats, giving the rest of us spoonfuls. She's about to shove a spoon in Ezra's mouth when he points out a huge chunk of banana that appears to have escaped the magic blending powers.

We leave her to her blending frenzy, overhearing all kinds of whirring and chopping sounds. A few minutes later, she exclaims "I MADE PESTO!!!!!" Now, Ezra and I are a bit perplexed by this development because, last we checked, there weren't any pesto ingredients in the house. I'm thinking -- pesto out of thin air! It is magic!

"What do you mean you made pesto???"

"I took the salad, and the gorgonzola, and the Italian dressing, and I put it in the Magic Bullet!"

"That's not pesto, you just blended a salad!"

Oh God. Before we can stop her, she's rushed into the living room, gigantic serving spoon in hand, and a cup full of green mush. She tries to shove it in Ezra's mouth, but can't seem to fit the enormous spoon in between his convulsions of laughter.

A good ten minutes later, with a sore stomach and wet eyes, Ezra gives his final commentary on the evening:

"Isn't 'magic bullet' also the name of a popular vibrator???"



At 6/04/2005 5:18 PM, Blogger hannah said...

lol... that was my initial reaction, reading the first paragraph: "Hrm... mother-daughter vibrator purchase. strange, but progressive I suppose..."


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